we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
