We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
