her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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