chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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