tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
