Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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