thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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