Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
