If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize