Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
