i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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