come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize