I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize