Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
