as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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