Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
