Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize