There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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