Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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