i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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