so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
