wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
