maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
