I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
how does that bad decision feel?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
