Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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