Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
