I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
