let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
