They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize