ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize