Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.