Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just gift wrapped bread.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down