Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
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I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?