I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.