So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.