idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?