I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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