I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
