Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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