I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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