My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
