Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
