found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My dick has a subreddit
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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