Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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