we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
