Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
