I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i was born a porn star she said
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
