I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize