You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
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PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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