Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
