im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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