let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Bring me that man meat
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
