i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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