I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
