the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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