Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
