Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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