im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
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But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
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Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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