im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
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We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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